We thought God is great and has all the time on earth (Oops!!.. heaven) to listen to our wishes. We thought our planning is his planning but that is not the case and that is why we say – God is great. It was almost 5 years back that we thought of extending our family. Fortunately , ( Or shall I say my science background helped 😉 ) I conceived the same month we thought of doing it. More then happy I was excited. As soon as the strip changed the colour I started finding the best gynecologist for myself and got almost the perfect one. We, the happy parents to be visited the Doc and got the list of check ups to be done. Next day the report was out which was not much to be appreciated. Severe HYPOTHYROIDISM. We were not so aware about this, before the doc actually gave a high eyebrow on the report and asked me to get same test done from a different lab. Now we were scared. Next day the reports had same numbers from a different lab and now doc had no choice but to explain us the fact. Most of the mothers must be knowing that thyroid issues are of critical importance during pregnancy and if thyroid numbers are not apt conceiving in itself is not possible. And that was the reason why my doc was surprised. Her first reaction was ” How can you even conceive with such severe Hypothyroidism? Its almost impossible” But the fact was – I was pregnant.
Doctor told me to wait till the 1st scan , she wanted to confirm anything only after listening to the heart beats. Within a week I started spotting and was advised full bed rest. My brother got married in those days. My only brother and the biggest marriage which was planned but me the only sister could not even shake a leg because of my condition. To worsen I even fainted during his pheras. But I was still positive. Finally the scan day came. My scan was good, heartbeat was there, Both mommy to be and Daddy to be heard the heartbeat and were quite happy. Our doc also got positive looking at the reports. That night we were happy and relieved and I slept happily without realizing what is there for me the next day.
Next morning looked refreshing, I got up and went to freshen up. 1st loo of the day and ouch!! I passed out something very unusual, I could feel what was that …. I started bleeding and crying. I gathered all the energy left to go out and wake up my hubby so that we can rush to the hospital. He , who was sleeping with a smile got stunned with what I told. Just last night we built a whole new world. And It just took a minute before It all shattered. Hospital nurses could not confirm anything but I was sure that its gone. Only after my scan doctor confirmed that yes Its not there and for hygiene I have to go through a clean up.
I saw my mom in the hospital and started crying, even my mum could not hold her tears. To be frank we were prepared for anything a night before but that one night brought so many emotions. We were upset but in an hour when doc visited and said It is OK as there were lot of criticalities and that could have brought some abnormalities in the baby, we thought It is better to bring in a healthy baby & hence gathered the courage to start thinking of the other side of the coin.
The whole 1 month for us has been quite painful with lot of emotional changes. We realized what being parents mean. The child who was not even weeks old made us change our priorities so much. My job, my career which was the most important thing for me took a back seat. I took a 15 days break for bed rest without even thinking twice.My only brother’s marriage took a back seat. Our full life was revolving around that one human who was thriving to survive inside my womb.
The series of events made me a much stronger human. Now I decided the flow for my next pregnancy. I planned how to go ahead, when to and what all to be done. My medications were on and as soon as I confirmed again my pregnancy blood tests were on roll. I was so conscious and responsible that even the sitting position in office was of concern for me. The way I walk, eat, sleep everything was perfect. In my 9 months of pregnancy not even a single day I missed my tablets. But god was testing me more. In my 5th month I was detected Gestational diabetes. Gosh !! Now what’s that.. I did my research and decided ” No Insulin” for me. Every day was a diet day for me with 4 times blood tests in a day. I prepared my own diet which could make me feel healthy without pushing my glucose levels. And yes that diet had to change every 15 days as my numbers fluctuated. Morning & evening walks were so compulsory that sometimes I used to feel I have a beauty pageant on my way. Thankfully all my hard work helped me reach my 8th month successfully without compromising on my work life. But again I got a situation , low sugar levels, I got hospitalized with my doctor advising to operate if things are not normal in 12 hours but thankfully baby started breathing normally and making me enter my 9th month. My doc did not wanted to take any chance as in Gestational diabetes 90% of the times it’s a c-sec she decided a date and only to my wish induced me and by god’s grace and hours of hard labor I delivered a healthy baby girl normally.
My pregnancy made me a tough mom. Mom who believed in practicality more then dreamland. My friends used to call my daughter a google baby & me a google mom. In all the course of events and situations we realized that being emotional & loosing hope is very easy but what is required is “tough decisions”, determination and reality checks.
Our daughter is 4 now and is a strong girl. She is our love but that does not help her get away with the realities of life. I do not run and pick her up when she falls. She has to do that herself. Our love for her has no boundaries but our wish for her is “toughness”, “boldness” . We will be more then happy If she won’t turn out to be a princess. Because princesses are in fairy tales & unfortunately this world is not one.
Cheers !! to all the mommies….